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When parents experience the devastating loss of a child, we need the nectar of sustaining friendships, inspiration, and reliable information as we enter this life-changing journey.

kristapic1My hope is this blog becomes a community of encouragement for all families who now travel in this unknown territory.  Whether the death is an infant filled with the promise of life, or a 55-year-old beloved son of aging parents, such losses cause profound sorrow.

“To grieve,” means to “bear a heavy burden” and we need others to help carry the load.

So, Pilgrimage through Loss will also offer insight for friends, family, clergy, counselors, and medical staff who walk with us.   Stories from parents will show how your companionship and tangible actions make a significant difference, but also ways unintentional hurt added to their pain.  Your desire to help ease our days proves pivotal as we seek renewed strength, peace, and a vibrant savoring of life again.

I like the term pilgrimage because it implies a long journey.  When Krista, our 25-year-old married daughter was killed in 1998 while volunteering in Bolivia, (see A Terrible Beauty at www.kristafoundation.org), I read what I could on parental grief and loss.  I found helpful writing on the early acute months when parents wonder, “Will I always feel this bad?”   …[continue reading...]

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Does Social Media Hurt or Help Families in Grief?

Does Social Media Hurt or Help Families in Grief?

April 11th, 2014

Hello from Costa Rica!  The New York Times published a fascinating article on how social media is changing the way Millennials respond to grief.  Text message condolences, announcements of deaths on Facebook, funeral pages to express feelings, the author demonstrated in "A Generation Redefines Mourning" that this first generation of "digital natives" are bringing their ease with social media to America's ill-at-ease culture around death. ...[read more]

When a Mother Tells the Truth

When a Mother Tells the Truth

March 30th, 2014

  Hello again! I've recently returned from a very stimulating book tour in three Southern states where I spoke about Pilgrimage through Loss at a variety of venues, from cancer centers, a medical school, several church Lenten events, the State Botanical Garden of Georgia (about my other book Bold Spirit).  What struck me and proved so affirming was the sheer appreciation from audiences of being in a community where persons felt fre...[read more]

Taking Small Steps Daily: The Kaizen Way

Taking Small Steps Daily: The Kaizen Way

February 28th, 2014

"One small step can change your life," believes Dr. Robert Mauer, a clinical professor at UCLA School of Medicine and author of The Kaizen Way.  He consults internationally with organizations and people teaching the potent force of kaizen, the Japanese concept of achieving great and lasting success through small steady steps.  This idea, coupled with the wisdom shared from a grieving widow to "Just Do the Next Thing" offered a way of living durin...[read more]

How Your Presence Adds Comfort to Those in Grief

How Your Presence Adds Comfort to Those in Grief

February 20th, 2014

"The Art of Presence", a column by New York Times columnist David Brooks, seemed so wise I wanted to share this with you. Because deep trauma often leaves others unsure on how to respond, this beautifully reinforces that families are usually grateful for all acts of kindness in the long pilgrimage of loss.  Brooks shares the story of the Woodiwiss family who lost their 27-year-old daughter, Anna, who died in Afghanistan after being thrown from a ...[read more]

Shimmers of Love: A Valentine Story

Shimmers of Love: A Valentine Story

February 15th, 2014

Will the small shimmers of love we share on days like Valentines ever have enduring life?   Sometimes they really do.   In talking with parents who lose a child, they sometimes share with me a moment of grace when they experience an event that gives them a sense of reconnection.   Here's a true story that happened to a family eight years after losing their daughter.   One of our daughter Krista's closes...[read more]

Pilgrimage through Loss Launch at Auntie's Bookstore

Pilgrimage through Loss Launch at Auntie's Bookstore

February 8th, 2014

  Hello again, We are back from Asia just in time for the official "launch" of Pilgrimage through Loss at Auntie's Bookstore tomorrow. I started working on the research and writing for this book over nine years ago, so it's deeply satisfying to see it finally emerge!   We cheered the Seattle Seahawks from a hotel in Bali with an alumni group from the University of Washington….you can imagine how excited these Seattlelites were for ...[read more]

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Top 10 Websites for Grief and Loss

January 21st, 2014

Best of 2012: GoodTherapy.org’s Top 10 Websites for Grief and Loss January 4, 2013  • A GoodTherapy.org Announcement     My understanding of the value of websites for persons in grief first came from a neighbor who suffered many miscarriages.  As Vice President in a major corporation, she didn't feel comfortable sharing the personal trauma that was marking the days in her mid-thirties when she suffered multiple mis...[read more]

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A special thanks to photographer

Mickey Shannon for his beautiful

image of Mt. Rainier National Park,

a special place for our family.

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About Linda
For everyone, life sometimes brings shipwreck moments.

Ours happened when four friends woke us one beautiful May dawn to break the news that our 25-year-old married daughter Krista had died 7000 miles away while volunteering in Bolivia. Our hearts shattered, much like the shards of her bus that plunged over a mountain cliff.
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Pilgrimage through Loss can be purchased from your favorite independent bookstore OR
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Read early reviews.
Available now…

Desperate. Determined. Unwaveringly confident. In 1896, a Norwegian immigrant named Helga Estby dares to cross 3500 miles of the American continent to win a $10,000 wager. On Foot. BOLD SPIRIT: Helga Estby’s Forgotten Walk across Victorian America introduces readers to this fascinating journey of an audacious act of courage and love of a mother trying to save a family farm.

“You absolutely do not want to miss this book!” ~Mitch Finley, Auntie’s Books

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Support for Parents

+ Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors On-line forum and website www.allianceofhope.org

+ American Childhood Cancer Organization (ACCO) (Formerly Candlelighters Childhood Cancer) www.acco.org

+ Compassionate Friends www.compassionatefriends.org

+ First Candle: www.firstcandle.org Support for Stillborn and SIDS deaths

+ Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide (LOSS) www.catholiccharities.net/loss

+ MISS Foundation (also in Spanish) www.missfoundation.org On-line support groups : Infant & toddler death and advocacy

+Parents of Murdered Children www.pomc.com

+ TAPS: Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors: www.taps.org 1-800-959 3277 for survivors of military deaths