Getting Grief Right: New York Times


An island of infinite beauty!

An island of infinite beauty!

Hello again!


An important article in the Sunday New York Times, “Getting Grief Right,” addresses how harmful the myth of closure and stages becomes for persons living with profound sorrow and loss.  While listening to parents across the nation, I often hear them describe this problem in our culture, and how these attitudes towards grief often confuse and hurt them.  As families say in Nancy Berns’ book Closure: The Rush to End Grief and What it Costs Us, “It’s not possible, not good, not desired, and not necessary!” Click on the live link below if you’d like to read the NYTimes article.  You might also find my earlier blog post Who Wants Closure of interest too.








Our family is spread across the nation, so we are thrilled to have enjoyed a reunion in Kauai, Hawaii, where our son Jefferson’s family recently moved. Our daughter Susan’s family from Boston joined us, as well as Aaron  (Krista’s husband before her death) and his beautiful Bolivian wife Gabriella and our two heart-grandchildren.  Our family life is so much richer because no one followed culture’s assumption on closure. Instead, we live with belief in the heart’s expansive ways of ongoing love, grateful for this grace in our days.  Infinite beauty!


Aaron, Gabriela, and our heart-grandchildren Thiago and Ava

Aaron, Gabriela, and our heart-grandchildren Thiago and Ava


What are your thoughts on American culture’s emphasis on closure?




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Pilgrimage (54 Posts)

Pilgrimage through Loss: Pathways to Strength and Renewal after the Death of a Child offers encouragement and information for other parents living in the long season of sorrow. Drawn from interviews from mothers and fathers on their grief journey, plus Linda Lawrence Hunt's memoir of their family's loss, it also includes recent research on grief, resilience, and creative healing.

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About Linda
For everyone, life sometimes brings shipwreck moments.

Ours happened when four friends woke us one beautiful May dawn to break the news that our 25-year-old married daughter Krista had died 7000 miles away while volunteering in Bolivia. Our hearts shattered, much like the shards of her bus that plunged over a mountain cliff.
Follow our path…

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Pilgrimage through Loss can be purchased from your favorite independent bookstore OR
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Available now…

Desperate. Determined. Unwaveringly confident. In 1896, a Norwegian immigrant named Helga Estby dares to cross 3500 miles of the American continent to win a $10,000 wager. On Foot. BOLD SPIRIT: Helga Estby’s Forgotten Walk across Victorian America introduces readers to this fascinating journey of an audacious act of courage and love of a mother trying to save a family farm.

“You absolutely do not want to miss this book!” ~Mitch Finley, Auntie’s Books

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Support for Parents

+ Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors On-line forum and website

+ American Childhood Cancer Organization (ACCO) (Formerly Candlelighters Childhood Cancer)

+ Compassionate Friends

+ First Candle: Support for Stillborn and SIDS deaths

+ Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide (LOSS)

+ MISS Foundation (also in Spanish) On-line support groups : Infant & toddler death and advocacy

+Parents of Murdered Children

+ TAPS: Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors: 1-800-959 3277 for survivors of military deaths