An important article in the Sunday New York Times, “Getting Grief Right,” addresses how harmful the myth of closure and stages becomes for persons living with profound sorrow and loss. While listening to parents across the nation, I often hear them describe this problem in our culture, and how these attitudes towards grief often confuse and hurt them. As families say in Nancy Berns’ book Closure: The Rush to End Grief and What it Costs Us, “It’s not possible, not good, not desired, and not necessary!” Click on the live link below if you’d like to read the NYTimes article. You might also find my earlier blog post Who Wants Closure http://pilgrimagethroughloss.com/category/families/who-wants-closure/ of interest too.
GIFTS OF GRACE
Our family is spread across the nation, so we are thrilled to have enjoyed a reunion in Kauai, Hawaii, where our son Jefferson’s family recently moved. Our daughter Susan’s family from Boston joined us, as well as Aaron (Krista’s husband before her death) and his beautiful Bolivian wife Gabriella and our two heart-grandchildren. Our family life is so much richer because no one followed culture’s assumption on closure. Instead, we live with belief in the heart’s expansive ways of ongoing love, grateful for this grace in our days. Infinite beauty!
What are your thoughts on American culture’s emphasis on closure?